Last week’s post about the Jesus/Junkie Christian art was a popular one. A few commenters thought I (and others) were a little mean in critiquing the painting. A bunch of other commenters jumped right into the fray, finding a lot of things to either 1) question or 2) make fun of in the piece.

It lead to some good discussions about criticism, drug use, inspiration, and hurt feelings. (In other words, just a normal Thursday dinnertime discussion around the Boyett family table.)

Rimshot!

But most of the commenting took place on Thursday and Friday, and I’m afraid many of you may have missed an interesting discussion on Sunday. Rabbi Josh Rose, of Congregation HarHaShem in Boulder, Colorado, jumped in with some challenging insight. Here it is:

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I’m a rabbi, so I have no use for this work at all, but your post on this, as well as the chorus of eager-to-agree commenters, strike me as – well, as cheap as the painting.

Much more interesting than the painting and the culture that helped create it is the culture that gave rise to the comments on the page tearing it apart. There is a bland and sorry uniformity, all too familiar: educated and probably over educated middle class Americans, many but not all of them male with a tendency to be contemptuous of religious ideas and to express that contempt with smug irony.

Of course the comments you make about the painting are “right” – of course the thing is cheesy when seen through the lens that now seems permanently affixed in front of the gaze of intellectual and pseudo-intellectual culture in our country. But the gaze of that lens is so predictable and tired. Wouldn’t it be more interesting and even useful to explore what the painting is really getting at and why it is so meaningful to many people?

…Your attacks are too easy. Just way too easy. And why does it bother you so much? The guy is making art that, I agree, has an air of cheapness, but that brings satisfaction to people who need it. Are we scared of what may be, in spite of its unfashionably simple aesthetics, its authenticity and power in this respect?

———

My first thought is “guilty as charged.” I attacked the cheapness of the art by making fun of the nunchucks — the first thing that caught my attention once I turned my gaze away from the freaky muscle-tat Jesus arm. Why did the nunchucks capture my attention? Probably because of my tendency to gravitate toward smugness and irony at the expense of certain religious ideas. Because it was easier to make fun of the surface of the art than it was to really get to the heart of it.

I was about to reply, though, in defense of you guys…most of whom, I’m thinking, are operating (like me) not out of contempt for religious ideas but out of a passion for them — and a passion that they not be cheapened by tacky art.

But my Interwebs friend Ken came to our defense quickly and eloquently while I was writing my own reply. He said this:

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OK, here’s the thing — Some of us have had the misfortune of growing up in a faith community that has forsaken its own rich heritage in art, music, and literature in exchange for the cute and/or sincere. For centuries, it was artists immersed in an understanding of faith that produced art that challenged, art that required time and discipline to fully appreciate, art that could be returned to time and again for fresh inspiration.

Then, in the early 1800s, the American church went through a transformation that emphasized the emotional over the intellect. Most of the protestant church became anti-intellectual. This led to a complete disregard for art, literature, and music — unless it could be used for cheap sloganeering, the modern American protestants didn’t want anything to do with it.

Today, some of us are trying desparately to raise the standard when it comes to art produced in the name of our faith.

———

Rabbi Josh jumps back in:

So, acknowledging what you said about growing up in an anti-intellectual Christian environment, and recognizing how this would color your view of the painting, I just want to say that I get it.

I think though that in religious dialogue and critique it is useful to come to the discussion with an assumption of the other person’s seriousness. I failed to do this in my own sharply worded evaluation of the comments on this page, and so I missed the context of what was written (the stultifying religious b/g to which you allude).

———

And it goes on from there. Read the full exchange here.

I really appreciate Josh calling us to task for being, perhaps, overly critical of nunchucks and playing cards when it might be more constructive not to go for the easy laugh. I think I head down that road too often — here as well as in my other writing. That’s kind of the point of my books — to combine humor with education — but probably shouldn’t be my default attitude. But I also appreciate Ken beating me to the punch in explaining that many of us are tired of cheap art being praised simply because it’s about Jesus. Whether it’s modern worship music (if I hear another Lord/adore rhyming couplet I will personally rip out your faux-hawk, Mr. Worship Leader) or Precious Moments figurines or Thomas Kincaid paintings, I wish Christians would show a little more passion for the quality of art than for its popularity. Or its inspirational value. Or whatever. Just because it’s available in a Christian bookstore or the artist signs his name with an ichthus or because it has Jesus in it, doesn’t mean it’s good. And it doesn’t mean I — as a Christian — have to like it.

Produce the art, sell the art, be inspired by the art all you want. No way would I try to censor you. But I reserve the right to be critical of the skill, the subject matter, the sincerity of the artist, everything. Christian subject matter should not insulate anyone from either criticism or the pursuit of excellence.

That said, I found the Jesus-Junkie art to be offensive because of two primary reasons:

1) It was so ham-handed and over-the-top in its depiction of drug use. That lack of subtlety, while funny, seemed totally tone-deaf. From the nunchucks to the skull, there are better and more artistic ways to portray violence and death. A lack of subtlety grates on me like sitcom laugh-tracks grate on me after having watched great comedies — like “Arrested Development” and “30 Rock” — that don’t need them.

2) I get really annoyed by pretty white-guy depictions of Jesus. Put muscles on a pretty white-guy Jesus and steam comes out of my ears. Mockery follows. And that wasn’t even the worst of this guy’s paintings. The most egregious one is right here. It’s awful. Jesus: ripped, blow-dried, and ready to punch people for sport.

Now I’ll say something nice about the artist. You know what I really like about his work? Even though they occasionally cross the line into creepy grinning, I like that he paints a lot of happy, smiling Christs. You don’t see a whole lot of those, which is something I’ve blogged about before. So good job, Art4God guy.

As a dad, a lover of kids’ books, and a fan of Spike Jonze, I’m pretty excited about this movie. Who’s with me?

I had a whole lot of visitors to this blog on Wednesday thanks to the Jesus art, and a really committed blogger would post something really great today to build on that traffic spike, but I just can’t do it.

For the following reasons:

1. Today is a snow day in Amarillo. Blizzard warning. School is canceled. The interstate highways are closed. Drifts of up to 10 feet are predicted. (By the way, it was a nice 60-degree spring day yesterday.) So the kids are home this morning, I’m home, and we’re all hanging out. Who wants to blog when you can, you know, live?

(He said while writing a short blog post.)

2. Tonight is my annual fantasy baseball auction draft, one I participate in with 20 other guys I’ve known forever. One of my favorite nights of the year. Starts at 6 pm and will end in the wee hours of the morning. And if you think a blizzard will keep us from doing this, then obviously you don’t know how seriously we take fantasy baseball. Anyway, no time to blog. Gotta research players and work on my budgets and spreadsheets!

[/end geekery]

That’s enough, right? Priorities.

Have a happy Friday.

Yesterday’s post was not-so-serious, so I’ll balance things out (perhaps karmically?) by calling attention to a book and organization that impresses me.

Thistle Farms is a non-profit business operated by the women who live at Magdalene, a two-year residential community in Nashville. The women at Magdalene have survived lives most of us can hardly comprehend, from prostitution and addiction to violence and abuse. They come to Magdalene to recover and start over, and Magdalene offers them a safe place — filled with compassion, discipline, and community — for up to two years. Totally free.

There, the women operate Thistle Farms, a business creating (and selling) natural bath and body products. This helps them gain job skills and learn to work in a cooperative, professional business environment. They’ve chosen the thistle for their name because thistles grow on the streets these women used to walk. Thistles are prickly weeds on the outside, but there’s a lot happening under the surface — they have deep roots and a soft, beautiful center. Turns out that’s a nice metaphor for the women behind the business.

The women of Thistle Farms aren’t just soap-makers, though. Along with Magdalene founder Becca Stevens, they’ve written a book called Find Your Way Home: Words from the Street, Wisdom from the Heart, published by Abingdon Press, which packages up their street- and life-tested wisdom — along with some heartbreaking story snippets from their lives — into a nice little paperback gift book.

A sample from p. 21 of the book: I have a broken body…I have jumped off hotel roofs to avoid the police ad have survived being stabbed. My body wants to be medicated to forget the brokenness and all the times I abused it to get a fix. On my best days I know even this broken mess of a body is a temple of spirit. I am trying to hold onto the knowledge that I began with God and I am God’s child.

Great stuff. You can buy the book at Amazon. Read the Voices of Thistle Farms blog, and head there if you’d like to make a donation. Go order something from Thistle Farms.

A lot of us probably need to do at least one of these things after laughing at yesterday’s Christ of the Junkies painting.

Oh boy. So at his tumblr blog, Trying to Follow, Ariah Fine posted the illustration below and asked for comments. Jesus has suffered quite a few indignities at the hands of Christian artists over the last few decades (I attribute this to “the rise of the Christian bookstore” and “Thomas Kincaid”). But this is perhaps the worst. Please take a deep breath, clear your head, and take this in:

This print is by the artist Stephen Sawyer and is called “Calvary.” You can find out more about it at Art4God.

Yes, Art4God.

I have some questions. And comments. I will now share them with you.

1. You know how we know the dude in the black shirt is a bad dude? Because he is drinking alcohol. And smoking cigarettes. Also he has some joints rolled up in that dish. And a white powder that looks like cocaine. And also a spoon. I’m no drug expert, but I don’t even think spoons are for the powdered kinds of cocaine. I think spoons are for crack. So there’s some crack there, too. We haven’t even gotten to the heroin part yet and already this guy is the Liberace of recreational drug use. (No, I don’t know what that means.)

2. I think this artist is being too subtle about the drugs.

3. Further evidence of the character’s badness: there’s also an empty pill bottle on the table. So he’s not just into street drugs, but prescription ones, too. And he plays cards, which is apparently an evil pastime as well. Also there’s a gun. Bad dudes have guns. And if you’ll look closely, there is a pair of nunchucks hanging from the doorknob. It’s a little-known fact that both Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein had nunchucks hanging from their doorknobs. Furthermore, the paint is peeling off his wall. Bad dudes don’t keep their walls painted.

4. Also, there is a human skull artfully arranged on his side table. I have friends who are police detectives, and I assure you this: when confronted with a murder suspect, the first question they ask is “Do you have a human skull on your side table?” If the suspect answers in the affirmative, nine times out of ten they have found their killer.

5. The only other reason to have a human skull on your side table is if you are an actor performing in Hamlet, and you are playing the character of the gravedigger, and you have taken the skull home as a prop. Alas, poor Yorick.

6. This guy could be Robert Downey, Jr. prior to his rehab.

7. Let’s talk about the physical arrangement of the violent druggie and Jesus. Is the druggie injecting heroin into his own arm or has he tucked his arm into Jesus’ side, which means he is injecting heroin into the arm of Christ?

8. If so, Jesus is a) ripped and b) has some kickin’ tats.

9. Also, the Jewish carpenter from 1st century Palestine is remarkably white, has a well-trimmed beard, and may in fact be a beefed-up Kenny Loggins.

10. Not sure what that handprint is doing on the door. Maybe he works in a print shop and always has dirty hands? Or maybe it suggests his squalor. In case the peeling paint was too subtle.

11. I’m confused as to the meaning of this painting, but I have some ideas. You can help me sort them out by voting on an explanatory caption. Which do you prefer?

A) Jesus took the punishment for sinners on the cross. This includes contemporary drug users, and it looks like it hurt.

B) Jesus identified with the least of these, so when a druggie finds a vein, he has injected the Lord himself with smack.

C) Jesus is with you always, even if you do hard drugs. He’s so close, sometimes you don’t even know whose arm to poke.

D) What started as an innocent piggyback ride turned deadly when, suddenly, Vinnie sat down next to the skull and pulled out his heroin kit.

—————

I’m kidding, of course. It’s too easy to make fun of this painting. But for the life of me, I don’t understand it. What’s the message? And can you GET any more heavy-handed in the depiction of the fallenness of Vinnie the drug user? (Yes, I’m calling him Vinnie.) The only thing missing is a Black Sabbath poster on the wall and a can of Skoal on the table.

If you’ve figured it out, I’d love your explanation.

If you have a print of this painting on your wall, I’d also love your explanation.

UPDATE: Brody Harper has actually met the painter before. He (Brody) was not impressed.

Two of the questions I’ve been asked multiple times are: 1) why don’t you have a podcast? and 2) what podcasts do you listen to?

To answer #1: I’ve got enough going on already. Don’t have time to plan, record, and produce a podcast. Unless you’re interested in a podcast of me typing.

To answer #2: See below.

First, a few words about how I listen to podcasts. I have a little 2nd generation iPod shuffle (the silver one with the clip). But rarely do I listen to music on my iPod. It’s almost always podcasts. Why? I don’t know. I like to multitask, but I can’t listen to anything when I’m writing. It’s too distracting (including music). So anytime I’m doing something mindless, like working out, jogging, riding my bike to and from the office, working in the yard, or driving long distances, I like to listen to podcasts. I save them up.

Here are a few of my favorite podcasts right now. You’ll probably notice a trend:

NPR Books: A great resource for author interviews, book reviews, and other industry news, compiled from NPR programs like All Things Considered and Morning Edition.

NPR It’s All Politics: Ken Rudin and Ron Elving are NPR’s political analysts and are Washington insiders who deliver great insight into what’s going on. I got hooked on them during the presidential campaign, and they’ve proven valuable during the early days of this administration as well.

NPR Pop Culture: A wrap-up of the week’s pop culture stories from NPR’s various programming. Always good for interesting music, television, and movie news.

NPR Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me: My favorite weekly news quiz. Download it for the always-funny panel members, stay for the compelling “Not My Job” guests. I am not too proud to admit that, some day, I’d like to join Mo Rocca, Tom Bodett, PJ O’Rourke, Paula Poundstone and others as a regular panelist. A Pocket Guide writer can dream, can’t he?

Chicago Public Radio’s This American Life: One of my favorites by far. From a storytelling pespective, I’m always amazed by the stuff Ira Glass and friends are able to produce. February’s “Bad Bank” episode was brilliant, and the best explanation of the current banking crisis I’ve heard yet. If you listen to one podcast for either education or entertainment, I’d recommend this one.

Slate’s Political Gabfest: Another politics podcast that grabbed me during the election, with John Dickerson, David Plotz, and Emily Bazelon. All great writers with interesting perspectives.

The New Yorker Out Loud: I don’t subscribe to the New Yorker, but I do enjoy its weekly podcast. It features an interview with one of its writers about their work in the current issue. A good overview of the story, with occasional background into the writing/research process.

CBS Sports Fantasy Baseball Podcast: Because I’m a nerd and my big fantasy baseball keeper league auction is this Friday night. If you those last few words made absolutely no sense to you, then I won’t even try to explain why this is one of my favorite nights of the year.

Mars Hill Bible Church: Rob Bell sermons. I used to be pretty caught up, but got way behind while writing the last book. I’ve listened to other sermon podcasts over the years (Tim Keller, John Ortberg, Matt Chandler, Greg Boyd), but Rob’s are the ones that stick with me, and which I always tend to stick back to.

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Those are what I’m currently downloading each week. What about you? What are your favorite podcasts?

Yesterday was World Water Day, which was was initiated by the United Nations in 2005 to draw focus to the global crisis for 1.1 billion people who lack safe drinking water. I want to do my part in observing World Water Day — and, yes, to be honest, it really is the least I can do — by calling attention once more to my friends at Healing Waters International. This organization celebrated its role in helping resolve the world’s water crisis by giving away free water yesterday at each of the nearly 70 water purification systems they have built in the Dominican Republic, Mexico, and Guatemala. I’ve visited several of their sites in the DR, and the work they do is impressive.

Since 2002, Healing Waters has distributed almost 75 million gallons of safe drinking water to poor communities in developing countries. The purified water is sold at a highly affordable price, less than a third the retail price, in order to provide sustainability to the water systems run by local partners (usually churches) while still making it accessible to the poorest in the communities.

Here’s what makes Healing Waters unique, though: They’re not just distributing water. The organization’s model is focused on sustainability along with personal and community transformation. The water is usually purified at stations staffed by local churches, which connects people to the church. The churches are put in a position of serving their communities, which connects the church to the people. Everyone benefits. More than 110,000 people in poor, urban slums get their daily drinking water from Healing Waters sites. Additionally, the projects have put nearly $500,000 back into their neighborhoods with community service funds (which is a requirement for churches receiving their systems) and have donated more than 3 million gallons to local schools (another requirement). Every $50 donated to Healing Waters International since they began has provided safe drinking water for life to another person.

Let me say that again: For $50, you can provide safe drinking water for life to a person in an urban slum in the Dominican Republic, Mexico, or Guatemala. Or, you know, you can go to Starbucks a dozen times this month.

To donate to Healing Waters and bring water for life to the poor, click here.

Right now, if you choose to sign up to be on the Healing Waters mailing list, you’ll receive a free hand-woven Mayan Bracelet.

I’ve written more about Healing Waters here, here, and here.

One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to read more. Specifically, to read 12 books. Which sounds like a lame goal, but considering that I spend a lot of my free time writing my own books and working on other writing assignments, is about as do-able as I can manage.

The good news is that, so far, I’m on pace. It’s March. I just finished my fourth book of 2009. And they were long books.

The bad news — at least for some of you, I suspect — is that you might be less than satisfied with the books I read. (Some of you, though, will be thrilled.) Here they are:

1. Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer
2. New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer
3. Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer
4. Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer

That’s right: I read all four books in the Twilight Saga and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Before I tell you what in the world I was doing engrossing myself in the bestselling series of vampire romance books for teen girls, I first want to acknowledge that I’m probably not in the target demographic. I also want to make it clear that I didn’t wake up on January 1 and decide to read them. I was approached by a publisher sometime in the middle of the month and asked if I was interested in writing a pop-culturish book about vampires, in order to coattail on the whole Twilight phenomenon.

I was skeptical from the beginning — other than a love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my interest in vampires has been pretty much non-existent. And at the time, I hadn’t read any Anne Rice and was pretty unfamiliar with Twilight. So I decided I’d better start reading in order to make an informed decision on the project.

Ultimately I turned the project down, as vampires didn’t seem to fit within my publishing goals or the “Jason Boyett” brand (to use a marketing term). But once I started reading Twilight, I wanted to finish the series. I made time to finish the series. To steal from Bryan Allain’s “Cannarf” rating system, the books rose above my expectations. I was pleasantly surprised by the strength of the story.

Two things to note:

1. Stephenie Meyer may have been writing YA novels for girls, but she can tell a good story and create a compelling world. I was hooked by the plot and storytelling despite the pulpy writing. I wasn’t drawn in as much by the romantic dreaminess of Edward Cullen as I was by the story arc, which was creative, suspenseful, and fulfilling.

2. No, Stephenie Meyer is not the world’s best writer if you’re judging on technical prowess or the beauty of her prose. It’s pretty boilerplate stuff, as Stephen King has pointed out (in what some might suggest was a pot-kettle-black moment). But she’s successful in that she turned a great idea into a well-plotted series of books written for a specific audience, and she did so with excellence. This led to the incredible word-of-mouth that drove book sales into the millions. And those things, when combined with some good luck, are required for a book to become a runaway bestseller.

Do I recommend them? Sure. I think most open-minded readers will enjoy them, as long as you’re not looking for something high-brow, or literary, or not about mythological creatures with stunning good looks, charisma, and self-control. Probably women more than men. But that’s to be expected, right?

Anyway, that’s my confession. Have you read the Twilight books? If so, what did you think?

The Telegraph reported a fascinating story yesterday about a computer programmer in London who lost a finger in a motorcycle accident. No big news there. I know all kinds of computer programmers who’ve lost fingers in motorcycle accidents. Don’t we all?

The interesting thing is that this guy — his name is Jerry Jalava, which sounds totally made-up but is apparently real — had a prosthetic finger made to give him a full ten digits again. Only the prosthetic can, um, “peel back” to reveal a 2-gig USB device, which he can then detach and plug into a computer. Here’s what it looks like:

Let me quote Mr. Jalava, who explains his now-digital fake digit: “It is not attached permanently in to my body, it is a removable prosthetic which has USB memorystick inside it,” he said. “When I’m using the USB, I just leave my finger inside the slot and pick it up after I’m ready.”

Of course.

This is brilliant, inspiring news. I know most of you have long wished that you could always have a portable hard drive available just like your pinky finger is available. This has inspired me to compile a list of options. If ever I lost a finger in a motorcycle accident, what might I replace it with?

1. A Butterfinger candy bar holder. Because sometimes you are hungry for a crispety, buttery, chocolately treat, but you just don’t have the time to, you know, reach for something. If the Butterfinger was always there, how convenient would that be?

2. A powerful magnet. If someone spills a box of paperclips at work, you could be all, “Stand back, friends and coworkers!” and proceed to pick the paperclips up with your very hand! People would be amazed.

3. A powerful vacuum. If someone spills a box of sawdust at work, you could be all, “Stand back, friends and coworkers!” and proceed to clean up that sawdust with your swooshy suck of a hand. More amazement for sure.

4. A meat thermometer. You know how you’ll be at a cookout and the guy at the grill will want to know if the steak has been cooked to the desired level of doneness? And he has to go inside and get the meat thermometer and how everyone’s just standing around waiting for him to finish up so they can eat already? Not anymore. Now you can stick your finger in the meat and advise the cook. Then everyone will enjoy their steaks while applauding your efficiency.

5. Chalk. People always freak out when people scrape their fingernails on a chalkboard. You can punk them by pretending to do the same. Only you don’t have fingernails! You have chalk for a finger! They will be astounded at the straight line you drew and thrilled that you didn’t just give them the serious heebie-jeebies.

6. Bullets. Let’s just say, when you’re playing pretend cops and robbers with your friends and they extend their forefingers as pretend guns and pretend to shoot you, you’ll actually have converted your finger into a gun barrel, with real bullets chambered in your wrist. This will give you a distinct advantage over those losers with pretend guns.

7. A flag that comes out with text that reads “Bang!” Because that would be a good joke after you shot out the real bullets a couple of times.

8. An MP3 player loaded with cartoonish sound effects. Then you could instruct your Ritalin-deprived nephew to “pull [your] finger,” and oh what funny sounds would result! He might start riding motorcycles, recklessly, just for the chance to have his own bionic finger.

——-

So what would you replace your amputated finger with?

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here’s last year’s post about the famed patron saint of Ireland, in the form of some background information from my upcoming book, Pocket Guide to Sainthood. It was originally posted on this date in 2008.

St. Patrick
Ireland (5th century)
Feast day: March 17
Also known as: Patricius, Naomh Pádraig, Gaewyn

Sure, the dragon-slayers and hermits and pillar-sitters have been weird, but here’s where sainthood really gets fun, because: Pirates! St. Patrick, Ireland’s beloved saint and the sole reason for the existence of green beer, was born in Britain. But as a teenager, he was kidnapped by — wait for it — pirates and sold as a slave to an Irish landowner. The master forced the young lad to tend sheep, and Patrick whiled away the long, boring hours by praying. A lot. By his account, up to a hundred times a day. Several years into his slavery, God appeared to him in a dream and told him to head for the coast. So Paddy escaped (or was freed…the historical account is fuzzy), traveled some 200 miles to a seaport, befriended a few burly sailors, and enjoyed a little more adventure on the high seas before returning to his family.

Patrick then entered the church and began training for the priesthood. Before long, another vision — in this one he heard the people of Ireland calling him “to come and walk among us” — convinced him to return to the land of his slavery. So he did, and is known for a variety of pious activities there which may or may not have actually occurred. These include the following:

a) performing countless miracles and converting thousands of people, including pagan kings and their entire kingdoms;

b) explaining the concept of the Trinity by using a three-leaf shamrock; and…

c) driving all the snakes out of Ireland by herding them into the sea, which is why he is often depicted with a handful of slithery companions. It should be noted that the surrounded-by-water, post-glacial geography of Ireland has never been a very good snake habitat, so giving St. Patrick credit for the lack of snakes in Ireland is like giving Frank Sinatra credit for the lack of polar bears in Las Vegas. Most historians think the “snakes” are a metaphor for the pagan Druids.

Obligatory Weird Miracle Story: Legend has it that a druid chieftain named Dichu tried to stop Patrick from entering Ireland as a missionary. Dichu lifted his sword to smite him, but Dichu’s arm suddenly became rigid, and he was unable to move it until he pledged his obedience to Patrick. And thus Dichu became the saint’s first convert.

Random Fact: Some historical sources claim St. Patrick died in 461. But the Annals of Ulster, an ancient chronicle of Irish history, report that Patrick was born in 373 and died in 493. The Pocket Guide can’t solve the matter, but this is certain: Living another three decades after everyone thinks you’ve died? No picnic.

Read more about Patrick in “St. Patrick Revealed” at Slate.

And here’s Dan Kimball with some thoughts about Patrick’s missionary prowess.